her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
