Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
