I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
