my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
