is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
