He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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