what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
