Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
