WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
