So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
