There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
