i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
