plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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