I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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