Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
