You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
