weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
