Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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