im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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