If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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