If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
