i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
