Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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