I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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