I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's like heaven, but drunker
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
