ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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