Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you didnt know i had herpes?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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