This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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