we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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