I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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