Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
