im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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