Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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