Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Are we still banned from the library?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
