Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you had me at cake vodka
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
