You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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