Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think my moral compass just broke
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
