I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm just crazy horny about you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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