If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
dude. I can hear the air.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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