It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
