do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
