Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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