The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
