so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
