i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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