We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
