why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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