had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
