We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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