well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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