dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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